Feeling a bit depressed

Okay so first off I'm feeling off this week.

A bit exhausted from how much time I put into chatting, Instagram, and patreon last week. Definitely made me realize that I need to get into a better pace with this stuff, which for me is difficult because I actually have found that I adore the attention and come back for it, maybe a little too much. 😅🥺

In more booby news, my endocrinologist sent me a bit more information about why my breasts haven't stopped growing. My hormones are a little high but nothing insane. However, my breast tissue seems to be hypersensitive to my hormones. Basically, the tissue has receptors in it for hormones that tell the tissue cells to divide. The more tissue cells there are, the more they receive the signal to grow. If there's prolactin or estrogen or phytoestrogen something like that. I don't know exactly the science but from what I was told, the problem is my boobs.

The fibroglandular tissue is hypersensitive. And the more tissue there is, the more tissue there is to receive the signal to grow. What's scary about this is that it means that my boobs aren't likely to slow down, they're likely to stay the same or speed up as they grow. The more boob there is, the more boob there is to be told to grow.

When it rains it pours.

Bad boob day.

What's interesting to me about hearing this is that, I thought that it would make me sad, but actually it's just made me kind of numb. They've already been growing week to week, really obviously too, but at this point I just feel kind of resigned to it. My boobs kinda stealing the show and leaving me in the background.

Depressed...

I always imagined that my writing would bring me attention. That I could right the wrongs of my lonely childhood by expressing myself. Maybe that expression would be seen by others and they would identify with my passion, and joy, and that time I dropped the pizza on the cheezy side and cried. 😬🫣

I never imagined that the way that I would be "reaching" people would be because my boobs had turned me into some genetic freak show, producing more, and more boob by the week. It's ironic, and sad? Idk. Maybe it just is what it is.

I had started trying to answer every single chat because I didn't wanna feel like I was ignoring y'all but that's obviously not sustainable because of the number of messages, but honestly I think y'all know I'm trying my best. And if you ask for more than that.... Can't do it😂

Thx for reading. Better booby days ahead