Wow that was a lot of rage
Added 2021-07-19 16:24:12 +0000 UTCThat was a lot of rage coming out of me in my last post.
Everything is obviously too much - what's going on in the world, the unknown, the lack of money, the flashbacks, the heatwave, all of it.
I am clearly not comfortable with my anger, because it brings up huge amounts of shame afterwards.
I don't like it when I get angry.
A friend came over and held space while i talked it out. I felt immediately better and then I realised that when money is tight, I have a tendency to stop eating, so I got the next bus to the market to fill my fridge up with fruit and veg. Not having enough nutrition in the brain probably doesn't help.
Self care, number one, health always number one.
The foundation of everything we have is health, without it, we have nothing to grow from.
Since then, I realised that knowing what is going on in the world has just been making me miserable. Yes, I want to stop tyranny and the rise of dictatorship where I can, but here in Malta, it seems pointless because people here are so conditioned to obey they don't even know how to protest. For example you need to write to the police to tell them you will be protesting! That's like telling your mum tomorrow at 9am you will be rebelling!
At the moment there is peace. No one is knocking on my door forcing anything on me, and I want to focus on what is here right now in this moment.
I am late with my vlogs because I am catching up on everything.
Sunday was a glorious day of non stop love making.
I will take more days like that please.
My one day off of the week is Sunday, and today it's already 6.20pm and I STILL HAVE SO MUCH TO DO!
I am teaching a class at 8pm Europe time, in case you are able to make it, I will post the details in a second!
Suze
