Fears
Added 2023-08-27 02:10:43 +0000 UTCI'm worried that my fans only want me when I make NSFW content. I'm worried about losing my audience, which has been my life line for the last six years. I'm worried that if I don't create NSFW content that my fans will leave me and that this audience that has given me so much for the last six years will disappear, and I need my audience. I'm worried that my content is too depressing right now and i don't know if there's anyone out there that will want to hear what I'm going through. Will they empathise, sympathise, be there for me, understand, care? Have I cared enough about my own patrons? i'm worried that I didn't build up a two way relationship with my followers. Two of which have become really close friends and we speak on the phone regularly, but the others I don't hear from. It's 3am, I woke up from a really abundant dream, my sleep is the place I get to escape the reality of my current circumstances. I reached out to a financially abundant contact of mine because I felt i need rescuing, and they didn't offer to rescue me. I feel distraught, I feel depressed. My whole world since knowing my boyfriend crashed around my ankles and I'm checking out of reality in order to cope. I don't know what to do, so I go dancing when i'm not working in the cafe. life is definitely the most bleak i've known it to be because it feels like there's no hope and no prospects for me. i know that the only thing keeping me away from happiness is money and it seems there's no way to get it. I just made a video and the upload time is so long that I don't know if it will get made and sent to you, because I know in my bleakest times I doubt that anyone will want to hear or see such content, and the risk is losing you. please send me all the love you have, any support you can send me, I value and treasure you more than you know.
Suze x
