Seeking a Guru in India

SEEKING A GURU IN INDIA

I had returned to Malta after the death of my partner, and despite several months passing, I still found myself  in the depths of depression, completely lost for direction.  When my Indian yoga teacher invited me to his wedding, my first response was  “I can’t afford it” until it hit me that I was tired of saying I couldn’t afford life!

It was a bucket list wish of mine to attend an Indian wedding and I felt stagnant in Malta, nothing seemed to be happening to answer my question as to what to do with my life, so with a deep breath, I booked a single ticket to India!

On the surface I was going to a wedding. Below the surface I knew I was  going there in search of answers. I was hoping to find a Guru who could heal me of my traumas and help me gain mental clarity on my purpose here on Earth.

After the wedding, I accepted an invitation to meet Nimish, author of …who had hired me as a voiceover artist for his Meditation App. I flew from Mumbai to Bangalore, booking myself into BeAnimal Hostel in Koramangala. I enjoyed three days meeting Nimish for the first time. We had an authentic Tibetan dinner, left home at 4am to spend time with monkeys at sunrise on the  (nantes mountains) and enjoyed drinks with him and his wife at their home in Indiriana. 

But with no more meetings lined up, I could feel the sense of unease and sadness creeping in again. As I was lying in my bunk bed, one of my roommates tapped me on the shoulder 

“There’s a meditation starting now if you want to join” 

Reluctantly I pulled myself out of my slumber and headed downstairs. A long haired smiling Guruji  invited us to stand in a circle, hold hands and send happiness to our right and left. Internally I was thinking to myself “Fat chance of me transferring any happiness, right or left” 

I set the intention nonetheless. After we had blessed each other, the Guruji invited me to sit and share tea with him. As I shared my struggle with depression, he read my palm, imparted a blessing and told me 

“In 21 days you will have clarity. Each day for 21 days ask God (fill in what he said)……and also repeat the oponopono prayer “

“I’m sorry, please forgive me, I love you, thank you”

He invited me as his guest to his ashram in Kurla and I felt immediately drawn to go. Once a few days had passed and I had spent some time with him, I began to question what this Guru really had to teach me. It seemed his focus was on spreading good vibes and blessings and building his instagram following. I became a little sceptical of what I would achieve going to Kurla. My high hopes of finding a Guru felt dashed. In my fantasy, I imagined myself stumbling upon my Guru just as Ram Dass had back in the 70s and retreating for months in the  Himalayas to study with him, until finally reaching enlightenment. This didn’t feel like I had found that.

I envisioned myself immersed in the sanctity of ancient wisdom, studying under the tutelage of a revered guru amidst the ethereal peaks of the Himalayan giants, where the whispers of enlightenment echo through the crisp mountain air only to reach my ears and transform me into a state of blissful transcendence.. You know, just an ordinary fantasy like that. 

My low vibe caught the attention of one of the regular visitors to the hostel's Happiness Cafe. Well toned and handsome, at first I was suspicious of his keenness to communicate, until I accepted his invitation to take me to his physio to have my shoulder treated. Diagnosed with a frozen shoulder I began my daily visits to the clinic, where 5 sessions would be the same cost as one in Malta. Zain would pick me up on his motorbike, take me to the clinic and then take me to lunch afterward. These daily meetups were the only outing I had to look forward to in my day. Having  shared my desire to find a Guru or Ashram, one afternoon he called me, where again I was slumbering in my bunk bed.

 “Pack your things, I’ll be with you in an hour and I will drive you to The Art of living Centre where a 3 day Happiness Program is about to start. It’s only $45 and from then on you can volunteer at the ashram as long as you want!”

Jolted from my hazy slumber, I piled everything into my suitcase, open for this new adventure.