This is Suze

Spa time

Added 2018-11-30 14:10:49 +0000 UTC

So much has happened, so I am going to share the stories here, whilst you enjoy my spa experience in silence. I suggest you mute the sound, unless you love the sound of hard gushing water!

Naked in the sauna, Viktor and I shared our insecurities, our fears, our dreams, and we always seemed to drop into really deep discussions about life. On one particular day our discussion went on all day and we hardly drew breath! We realised we needed some air, and decided to go out and do something. Long story short, we got on the bus and he changed his mind about me joining him. Weirdly enough this evoked some panic in me, we were slightly outside of Stockholm in an unfamiliar place in the dark and countryside, I had no "armour" for a table for one, like a book or something to write on. I felt stranded.

I could turn around and go back home of course, but I didn't fancy the idea of being in a big house alone in the dark. Old traumas resurfacing, but nevertheless this current situation invoked one of my CPTSD flashbacks and I silently went through a panic attack that lasted for some time. Viktor did not know, I could not tell him. My chest and voice had shut down. I got off the bus and found my way into town, still in the grip of my panic attack, walking on auto-pilot.

Not the most relaxing story for this spa video! But you'll understand why the spa day was such a great need for me after my week in Sweden.

I am going to share some other videos from my day at the spa and continue this story....TBC...