Tirrrrrred
Added 2019-11-23 18:23:08 +0000 UTCI am super tired today. It's vulnerable for me to share whenever I am not on top form. I know that this is the place for sharing, authentically, all the time. but still, there are thoughts that pop into my head that say "what if ..."..such and such" ie someone I know, or someone I want to get to know, saw this vlog, what might they think? Would they still like me?
Would they still like me Mad? Angry? Tired? Anxious? Full of self doubt?
All of these things are things i try to work on in my life. Maybe part of the reason is that I want to find love, and maybe I believe that the reason is that "I'm not quite perfect yet".
Tonight I'm off to meet friends for the evening, I'm tired and a bit emotional. I need to eat and self care if I am to have a good time. my friend asked me to pick her up from a place, that is not quite on the way, means a detour and going back on myself, and it is so hard for me to say no without feeling bad. Constantly worried about what people think; judging me for my lack of genorosity, or inability to spell the word generosity. Ah, there we go.
I imagine I am probably just on a comedown after such an amzing week, and now that I'm "alone" it dawns on me, that this week may have just been a magical adventure and nothing more.
