ch 71
Added 2025-03-15 16:41:19 +0000 UTCWe wound our way through the town, its dirt paths uneven and tangled, as if they had been made without thought. The deeper we went, the worse it gotâbuildings thrown together from whatever materials were on hand, roofs patched with mismatched wood. It smelled like sweat, damp earth, and old smoke.
The more I saw, the more I appreciated Jared. I had expectedâhopedâto find a thriving faction, one ready to take on the inductionâs challenges. Instead, I found a settlement slapped together in a hurry. Nothing here was built to last. It was survival, nothing more.
Then, we reached it.
A white house stood ahead, glaringly out of place. It had pillarsâactual pillarsâlike something ripped from a Midwestern suburb and dropped here without care. I hated it immediately.
Its placement in this town felt jarringâtoo clean, too precise, a stark contrast to the chaos surrounding it. The yard was pristine, the bushes trimmed with almost obsessive precision. It was an oasis of order in a town that barely held itself together.
What did that say about Jordan? The contrast gnawed at me. What kind of man kept himself so separate from the ruin around him?
Tom stepped forward and knocked, the sound sharp against the unnatural quiet.
The door cracked open almost instantly. A young woman peered out. âHey, Tom. Whatâs going on? Is Jordan expecting you?â
From where she stood, she couldnât see Ellison.
Tomâs voice was casual, but measured. âHeâs not expecting us, no. But weâve got some new visitors, and Iâm sure heâll want to meet them.â
She hesitated, glancing at us. Still not catching sight of Ellison.
âOkay. Hold on.â The door clicked shut.
The guards stood stiffly, not speaking, not looking at each other. Tense.
When the door opened again, she waved us in. âJordanâs in the front room.â
We stepped inside. Finally she caught sight of Ellison and recoiled, her breath hitching.
Ellison didnât react. He just stared aheadâstoic as ever. With every moment my respect for him grew.
As we moved in, I briefly wondered what Mischief was up to. Probably getting into some kind of trouble. Heâd be around soon enough.
The house smelled like fresh wood and expensive oils. Every inch of it was pristine. Comfortable in a deliberate way, like it was trying too hard.
âTom, come in!â called a friendly voice from the front room.
We were led to where the voice had come from.
The room was just as spotless as the rest of the house. Two comfortable-looking couches sat across from a coffee table, with a pair of chairs facing a small fireplace. The mantle was neat, with flowers and a bowl with smooth flat rocks.
Seated on one of the couches was a man with silver-gray hair, dressed in a loose wool sweater and khaki pants. He was clean-shaven, his appearance carefully maintained. The whole thing felt weirdly formalâlike I was about to ask the manâs daughter out on a date.
We stepped into the room, and the manâJordanârose to greet us.
âItâs good to meet you. Iâm Jordan. Would you mind introducing yourselves?â
Jordanâs smile was easy. Practiced.
I gave an awkward wave. âHi, Jordan. Iâm Layton. This is Nick, and thatâs Ellison.â
His eyes barely lingered on Ellison. âIâm sure thereâs a great story behind how the three of you ended up traveling together. Especially you, Ellison.â
Instead of recoiling, he smiled. It didnât take a genius for me to see that I was out of my depth here.
Ellison spoke for the first time. âIt is quite a story. You donât seem as⊠put off by my appearance as I expected.â
Jordan laughed. âWell, I have to say, you arenât what I was expecting. Then again, I also wasnât expecting the apocalypse.â He raised his hands. âYet here we are.â
Huh. This guy was way different than his guards. Whatâs with him? Shouldnât he at least be a little surprised by Ellison?
âYouâre not weirded out at all that he looks like a deerman?â The words just slipped out before I could stop them.
Jordan snorted. Ellison covered his face, exhaling slowly like he regretted everything. The guards shifted uncomfortably, eyes flicking between us.
âI suspect he does more than just look like a deerman,â Jordan said, still amused. His gaze settled on Ellison. âEllison, is it safe to assume youâre not human?â
Ellisonâs response was measured. âIâm not. Iâm a Guildian, but I can see why Layton made the comparison.â
Jordan nodded. âThis is not a conversation I thought Iâd be having today. Iâm not complaining.â He gestured to the seats. âLetâs all sit and get to know each other better.â
He turned to Tom and the rest of the guards. âTom, you can stay, but we donât need everyone. I donât think our guests are violent. Are you?â
âNo! Weâre definitely here peacefully.â
I groaned internally. Was that too much?
Jordan chuckled. âSee? Letâs get comfortable!â He gestured towards the other couch again. âI donât know about you, but I have a lot of questions.â
The guards left and Tom took a seat next to Jordan.
I looked at the couch, it was so clean. Then I looked at myself and my comrades. We were not clean. Not at all, especially me.
It mustâve been obvious what was going through my head because Jordan spoke up.
âOh donât worry about that, Layton. Youâve been traveling and that couch has seen worse. Go ahead, make yourself comfortable.â He gestured to the couch a third time.
Still feeling insecure I found a seat on the couch. Nick and Ellison followed my lead.
âYou have a nice place here. Itâs weird to see so many houses.â I said reclining into the couch.
âThank you Layton. At the risk of being too forward, are there not any houses where you are coming from?â
âWell we do have houses now. But there werenât any that made it through the transformation.â
I point my thumb behind me. âNot like what you have here. Plus Ellison isn't really from here so they didnât have houses yet.â
Ellison had given me some ideas on how to conduct myself when meeting new factions. I was trying to remember everything but it was a lot. So I had decided I would just be myself.
Jordan considered my words. Personally I had never seen any value in not just being clear and open when meeting someone. Ellison tried to help me understand that we should exercise caution with what we share. âNot everyone has good intentions,â he had said.
I wasnât naive. Logically I knew the risks to oversharing and being direct. But that just wasnât the world I wanted to live in. Iâm not a politician or master negotiator. Jordan on the other handâŠ.
âThat is very interesting. I had wondered if our experience here was the standard. Come to think of it. Heather?â He called into the other room and waited for her to enter. âWould you mind sending for Cassie?â
Heather nodded and then left. âCassie is a former faction leader. We merged our factions recently. I think she should be included here if no one has any objections.â
I shrugged.
âI donât have any problems with it. Your faction has waayyy more people than ours. Ellison told me not to ask but I canât help but want to know. How is everyone adapting?â
Again Jordan laughed lightly.
âLayton, you really arenât one to beat around the bush are you? Since you brought it up. Maybe you wouldnât mind sharing a little bit about your faction so we can get to know each other better? You have me at a disadvantage since you have already seen so much of ours.â
I looked at Ellison briefly. He gave me a look of defeat. He already knew I had thrown all his advice out the window. Still I decided to throw him a bone.
âEllison, is there anything you want me to leave out about your people the Guildianâs?â In response he sighed and looked at Jordan.
âJordan. You might be wondering to yourself, much like I did when I first met Layton. âIs Laytons abrupt and open nature some strange tactic to set me at ease?â If that is what you are wondering, itâs not. It is just who Layton is.â
While Ellison was talking I realized if there was something he wanted me to leave it, he wasnât about to say what it was in front of Jordan⊠Whoops.
Jordan smiled âSo much the better. Maybe we could all take a page out of your book Layton. If there are some topics youâd wish for Layton to avoid I am happy to leave the room with Tom so you can discuss it in private?â
Damn this guy was smooth.
If I didnât feel it before I really feel it now. Jordan is in another league, the only thing was I had to be playing to be in the league right? Jordans responses felt calculated, manicured. It just wasnât in me to conduct myself that way.
âI donât think it would help even if you did. Layton is just who he is. Besides, we really have nothing to hide.â Ellison was like Jordan. Maybe it came with age? Except⊠I felt like Ellison was still more authentic than Jordan.
âEllison is right. Iâd prefer to believe there is no reason to play politics. Our faction is small. We are less than 200 members last we counted. The majority of them are actually like Ellison here. What would you like to know?â
My dad had always told me you can learn a lot about someone by the questions they ask. It showed you what mattered to them.
âFascinating⊠Did you both share the territory when the world changed?â Jordan asked with genuine interest.
âNo. I started the change alone and my family grew little by little. Nick and his group were the first to join. They stumbled upon my territory and asked to join, Iâm glad they did. It wasnât until a little later Ellison and his group decided to come on board. They have been a huge help and with them weâve made great progress together.â I had to force myself to stop talking. It was my habit to overshare.
âSo I take it that you are the faction leader then?â
âIn name mostly. I consider our steward Jared to be more our leader. I considered bringing him along but he has other things on his plate right now.â Man. Compared to Jordan I felt like a little kid.
Jordan was taking all this information in stride.
âLayton. I canât help but notice that you look no older than 20. Leading a faction so young⊠and the way you tell it both factions chose to join you. Correct me if I am out of line, but I am a bit confused. If you feel like Jared is more the leader, why did you not make that official?â
It was obvious Jordan was looking for more. My dad had also told me that honest people donât feel like they need to hide their motives.
âOh I tried. I told him the EXACT same thing. But he refused, itâs part of why I respect him so much. He felt I should stay a faction leader so here I am.â
I couldnât help but wonder a little what Jordan might be thinking.
âHere you are⊠You obviously already know that Iâm the faction leader here. Iâve found it to be a heavy weight on occasion.â He paused letting the words sink in a little. âI feel like there is so much to talk about, but maybe first you can let me know more about how and what brought you to our territory?â
Was it just me or was he posturing? Jordan had touched on it but then moved on, like it was just a casual comment. But nothing felt unintentional with this man.
Both Nick and Ellison had warned me to be delicate with how I broached this next topic.
âI earned a map in a dungeon that showed us where you were. We came because I have a creeping feeling that something big is coming, what it is Iâm not sure, but something feels off with how this system works.â
I shrug. âI know I sound a bit paranoid. Even my own faction feels Iâm beingâŠdramaticâŠ. Still I wanted to come and let you know we are here and whatever is coming we want to work together.â This is probably not what Nick or Ellison had in mindâŠ
I let Jordan process. His next words came slowly.
âWell Layton⊠that is⊠Huh.â This was the first time I had seen Jordan stumped.
âI know, I know. Itâs a lot. Plus it doesnât help that I have no clue what it is thatâs coming.â I started feeling frustrated. I was here but to be honest I hadnât even put together what I wanted from Jordan. To warn him? But that wasnât really it, maybe part of it. Why had I come?
I started to feel flustered and looked at Ellison. He smiled. Just barely. But I saw it.
Can you see whatâs in front of you?
My pace started to slow. âJordan I guess what I am saying is that we are here and we want to stay and be as helpful as we can be. Maybe even establish some type of partnership, trade even?â
Jordan had seen it all. He was sharp. He missed nothing. If he was thrown off before he had collected himself.
âLayton. I can tell you have already been through a lot. Truth be told, we have faced our fair share of problems also. I wonât go into details now, but I can tell your heart is in the right place.â
Jordan stood and walked to the fireplace to lean on the mantle. âLeadership is a double-edged sword. As I am sure you are well aware.â He toyed with one of the flowers.
âTake our faction for instance. Everyday I have to balance just how much people should be subjected to. You no doubt noticed the state of our territory?â
âYeah, itâs a mess. Jared would lose his mind if he was here.â Internally I cringed. But it was a mess.
Jordan smiled, and shook his head.
âI can tell youâve adapted well to the changes of this world. You carry yourself with confidence. We have many just like you here, they want to fight, want to grow. Iâd consider myself in that camp. Same as Tom here.â Jordan rested his hand on Tomâs shoulder.
âLayton. Can I share my biggest challenge with you?â
I shrugged. âYeah sure if you think I can help.â
Jordan began pacing. âWhat do you do with people that donât want to fight? People that just want to be saved without being willing to save themselves?â
I considered the question. It didnât really compute. âWhat do you mean?â
âWhen the world changed it broke many of the people here. There were many who decided not to face the tutorial, choosing to ignore the warnings. MyâŠ. my wife was one of those people.â
He cleared his throat. âThe tutorial was not kind to those people. It was a dark first five days.â
âOh, uhh⊠Iâm sorry to hear about your wifeâŠâ
In my head I couldnât stop the thought from entering. My dad would NEVER leave my mom behind, he would drag her kicking if he thought he was protecting her. Still I tried hard not to judge Jordan.
âThank you.â Jordan briefly dabbed his eyes. âSo many people here still havenât come to grasp the situation we are in. As their leader, I have taken on the responsibility to protect them until they find their way. But what if they never do?â
âI guess that means you just have to be strong enough to protect them, if they canât protect themselvesâŠâ
The words feel dirty on my tongue. It doesnât seem like the right answer. Jordan smiles again.
âSpoken like a true leader.â He stopped his pacing and gave me a hard look.
âLayton. I am glad that you found our faction. I think you might be just what we need. You said that you would like to stay and help? What is your class and level if you donât mind sharing.â
âIâm level 30 and Iâm a healing class.â He didnât really need to know about my evolved class. But why all of a sudden did I feel the need to hide it?
âLevel 30!? You hear that Tom?â He whistles
âYou're a higher level then I am. And a healer class to boot. We could definitely use someone with your skill set! Why donât you stick around a while? We have a raid coming up in a few days. If you are willing Iâd love the support. After the raid we can talk more about what a partnership might look like.â he pauses. âAnd where on earth is Cassie? I had hoped to introduce you.â
For just a second, I couldâve sworn I saw a flash of something in Jordan's eyes. What was that? It reminded me of what I saw in Mischief's eyes. Before he gained his sentience, back when he tried to eat me.
I shook my head. It was probably my imagination.
Comments
No spoilers but I think youâll like how it goes đ
Avyck3721
2025-03-17 04:51:38 +0000 UTC"What do you think he should do?" If it was me I'd play dumb in front of the town leader for a day or 2 and have my panther bud scout out the town and look for more solid details. If something turned up shady, like people disappearing under very strange circumstances that lead back to Jordan or his crew, then try and lure the town leader and his lackeys outside of town and assassinate them. If nothing was found but the spidey senses are still tingling make up some BS that you have to leave and go. Something is clearly wrong with the place and Jordan and just because it isn't obvious doesn't mean the skills' are lying
tibbish
2025-03-17 04:04:29 +0000 UTCHair grows back. Just don't let it pull you down đ
EsZeus
2025-03-16 19:44:47 +0000 UTCMy girlfriend just thinks I'm perfect.
Avyck3721
2025-03-16 19:44:44 +0000 UTChaha well I'm glad you continue to stick around, even if you make me want to pull out my hair occasionally
Avyck3721
2025-03-16 19:44:04 +0000 UTCInteresting is subjective haha Frustrating? Yes. My girlfriend would agree đ đ But yes, I love to discuss. And I leave positive and negative feedback all the time. Problem is: negativity is often way more remembered than positive
EsZeus
2025-03-16 19:40:07 +0000 UTCEsZeus how are you one of my most frustrating and yet interesting readers at the same time!?
Avyck3721
2025-03-16 19:38:36 +0000 UTCThatâs a great call out. Haha the verdict is still out on those 2đ
Avyck3721
2025-03-16 19:37:17 +0000 UTCAlso how Leyton reacted and how easily he decided with the 2 humans they saved from the dungeon :)
EsZeus
2025-03-16 19:30:44 +0000 UTCI see your perspective. So far Layton has had what I would consider three main interactions. One, with Richard. That ended poorly, mostly for Richard to be fair. Then we had Jared. Which ultimately came with a mixed bag but ultimately was positive. Third was with Ellison in which he deployed the same straightforward open communication which also ended positive. Outside of that there have been few opportunities for negotiation. I considered Ellison leading the conversation however Ellison is more of a consultant to Layton in this interaction. Could he exercise more caution? Definitely, a lot. I guess weâll see how things go
Avyck3721
2025-03-16 19:27:40 +0000 UTCBut Ayvck, DON'T let this feedback pull you down. Take it, read it, and if you don't agree, just continue. The worst that can happen is you letting feedback dragging you down :) Never my intention. And most of others are of the same opinion.
EsZeus
2025-03-16 19:19:37 +0000 UTCAnd what he should do differently? Everything. That's the whole point currently. The whole conversation feels off. From the start đ«
EsZeus
2025-03-16 19:15:30 +0000 UTCHe should be WAY more cautious. Or you could let the Deerman lead the talk because he comes from a very harsh world and knows these basics. After Richard and everything else these scenes should be more realistic in itself. You as the author create a world and universe. So it should always stay realistic in this created frame. But what the MC and the others encountered so far, experienced? It should have lead them to be way more strategic, careful and overall everybody should have learned and grown somewhat from the past encounters. Thats why my original comment said "plastic", because the interaction between the characters, who SHOULD have grown by now, are feeling off. You know; You introduced other worlds and real living beings to the MC which he had fought against in raids & dungeons. You tried to give him some moral and ethical thoughts. You tried to introduce a kind of character growth. But at the end there was none. He learned nothing from such hard Truth, it feels like. He gave Jared the management of the faction, so he saw his strengths and weaknesses. But here it feels like he suddenly is someone else again. Many different things that are jumping into my face as a reader. This is just feedback. I can't give you exactly what you should rewrite and how, in which words. But I, or we(?), can narrow it down and describe whats bothering đ
EsZeus
2025-03-16 19:14:28 +0000 UTCHe might act naive but what Iâm asking is what has he given away or how would you recommend he behave differently here after the first conversation? Speak less about his own faction? Give a scathing report on his state of affairs as they are without context?
Avyck3721
2025-03-16 19:04:09 +0000 UTCThe problem is, I think: If you describe an overwhelming naive main character, it makes the story unbelievable. No overwhelmingly dumb or naive character can really grow without plot armor. So you saying multiple times by now, that the MC is just "naive" doesn't make it more believable to read. How can someone like him survive then without plot armor? If it's a learning curve, ok. But it's happening too often and by now the character should have grown. Like someone else mentioned: his class could hint. The Deerman could hint at something. There could be a nagging in the back of his head that something is wrong. I think the main problem is the unbelievable character and how he reacts currently so far :)
EsZeus
2025-03-16 18:59:36 +0000 UTCTotally. What do you think he should do?
Avyck3721
2025-03-16 18:54:34 +0000 UTChe has shared the approximate quantity of people in his territory. Now all this scumbag has to do is start a media campaign blaming Layton's faction for the disappearances, and then scumbag's faction would get energized, gain levels, and launch an assault
bob barker
2025-03-16 16:31:42 +0000 UTCI would add to that the MC has already had a lil' experience with his class hinting, or even leading him outright, to clue into things. And yet here he seems to be blowing off some real warning signs like its nothing. I don't expect perfection or impossible levels of competence here but if you know you've got something that can drop hints that something is wrong with a situation why blow that off?
tibbish
2025-03-16 09:17:50 +0000 UTCPs I actually really appreciate you challenging this and it helps me think through my intentions
Avyck3721
2025-03-16 05:58:32 +0000 UTCYeah I really get what youâre saying and I think even Ellison would agree. But I donât know, maybe there are red flags but what should Layton do? Just immediately distrust Jordan? Tell him off like Jared had done earlier? Layton is undeniably naive, even to a fault. He acknowledges the red flags but what has he shared that hurt his position?
Avyck3721
2025-03-16 05:56:58 +0000 UTCI agree with EsZeus. It seems like despite all the incredibly obvious red flags that layton and Co. Are still caught off guard, see no issues, and give up far too much info. It would seem much more natural if they recognized the red flags and were on edge / trying to pinpoint the source of those red flags while still trying to maintain a cordial front. Unless there's a specific goal for your writing it this way developing the narrative for the next couple chapters in a specific direction, it otherwise feels a bit contrived.
Jeremiah
2025-03-16 00:23:08 +0000 UTCThanks for sharing this chapter.
Carolyne
2025-03-15 20:08:07 +0000 UTCYeah dunno what to tell you. Iâm doing my best, I guess not everyone is going to like itđ€·
Avyck3721
2025-03-15 20:05:54 +0000 UTCThe whole scene, the talks, the characters? It feels wrong? Is there mind manipulation? If not, this feels very "plastic" and the interaction is very flat. Or maybe I am just wrong. Dunno, really. And Leyton... Not sure. đ
EsZeus
2025-03-15 19:59:04 +0000 UTC