Collar's Call - Bonus Smut Chapter

Hello my wonderful patrons, here's our December patron exclusive (it's still the 31st where I am, don't @ me). In all seriousness I do feel a little bad at getting this one in right before the buzzer. Sorry about that, I'll try to be better in the future. I hope you enjoy this extra bit of smut from Collar's Call, which is also available to all patrons if you haven't read it yet.  Moving forward I intend to resume work on Witch / Egg (which I'm currently thinking I will title "Once More to See You" cause I'm a big dumb Mitski lesbian). I also definitely plan on continuing the demon groundhog day one. 

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Mornings weren’t really on our docket, at least, not being up and productive during them. It had been a month or so since my return, though the days weren’t particularly well defined, we weren’t on any schedule but our own. Neither of us had jobs, I’d never thought to ask, but memory served to remind me that I’d always attributed Lucy’s lack of financial concern to the fact that she had access to literal magic. Frankly though, I’d never really cared, and I still didn’t. Not so long as I got to spend so much time with her. Lucy hardly ever let me out of her sight, and when we were together, I would inevitably find her arms wrapped around me, or her hand on the small of my back, gently guiding me as we walked, or her fingers running through my hair, or my head resting in her lap. It all registered as very possessive, but she was hardy controlling -- at least, outside the bedroom -- for the most part, it seemed more than anything she was just scared I’d disappear on her again. And frankly, I was too.

Most days were like a dream, one filled with only the two of us. But there were other days. Days where I felt I could never hold her close enough, tightly enough. That without keeping my due vigilance and need, I might slip away from her at the slightest weakening of my grip, or disentanglement of our limbs. She felt that way too, I was certain. Sometimes, when we slept I would awaken to her grip tightening around me to the point of discomfort, or be jostled by her thrashing and grasping for nothing. I always did my best to soothe those worries, to show her I was there, but we had wounds. And they weren’t going to heal from a stretch of honeymooning about the house gazing deeply into one another’s eyes.

Which wasn’t to say we hadn’t come a long way. The first few days were a confusing blur of first basking in the relief and joy, then processing the grief, guilt, and existential angst which soon caught up with us. We spent a long time barely moving, crying in one another's arms and afraid to go to sleep should we wake to find ourselves apart again. In time though, we started to talk. We spoke about our time apart, we sifted through my memories of our happier times to make sure everything was there. She helped me see I was really authentically myself and not some artificial recreation. Impostor syndrome really can be a bitch when you lose and regain just about everything that makes you, you with a couple month span of time in between where you’re just this other, half-formed person. There was no easy way around, over or through her guilt or grief. But trauma is like that, it had its hooks in both of us, but we had one another, and slowly, carefully, we began to climb out of that hole.

It wasn’t long before the happy days returned. They weren’t characterized by a spur in activity, but soon enough being together became about more than simply ensuring the other wouldn’t disappear. We’d talk, laugh, watch tv and play games, occasionally even dare to let go of one another, if for the briefest of moments. Neither of us was ready to be without the other. Though both of us knew we’d probably need to seek professional help to fully heal eventually, for the time being we needed one another, and had little-to-no responsibilities that might interfere with said need. Unfortunately that growing relief and peace only made the hard times even harder. Which was why, despite everything, after a slightly off morning I found myself lying face down in bed, unwilling to do just about anything as my thoughts turned only to worry and doubt,

Lucy was there, like she always was when I found myself in that space, just listening, just as I would for her when things were reversed. “It still hurts sometimes. I know it all worked out, but I can’t help wondering if anything was lost along the way. Do you think things can really ever be the same between us? Can we ever really get over everything that happened? And what if it happens again?” Off all the things I’d said, all the anxieties that bubbled under the surface, that last one always stung the hardest.

“It won’t.” The finality in Lucy’s tone was quite surprising, given that she had seemed to have those same fears in the past.

“How can you know that?”

“I’ve thought about everything that happened more than I’d ever care to. And as hard as it was, it showed me one thing: I’ve grown. When all that happened, the spell I tried to cast was far beyond my skill. I may not have known it, but I was out of my depth, I didn’t even know consequences like that were a possibility. But I do now, and I’m not going to let myself make those same mistakes again. Even if that means severely limiting my magic use.” I envied the certainty she with, but I couldn’t deny it helped me feel safer. I could not simply tame that fear, but Lucy’s confidence was reassuring.

“Okay, I trust you.”

“I’m glad, but even if it never happens again, that won’t fix your trauma. You’ve come so far since that night, worked every day to heal. We both have, and I’m so proud of you. But I know as well as you do how hard this is to get over. I feel it too, the pain of the time we spent apart, the guilt, the fear that I’d never see you again. It doesn’t just go away.” Her fingers interlocked with my own, gripping me tightly.

I nodded, and turned to face her, pressing my face into her side. “I wish it would.” I mumbled, voice muffled against her.

Lucy kept quiet, seemingly locked in contemplation, before gently cupping my cheek, pulling my gaze to her face. “I could make it go away, just for a little while. If that’s what you want.” She turned her head to a nightstand across the room, atop of which lay the collar, set upon a stand in full view of both of us as a reminder of what brought us together again. Her gaze returned to mine, and the implication that lay behind the look in her eyes was enough to twist my insides then melt them into a little puddle gathering in my core and trickling down to my crotch. Still I didn’t feel great about putting the burden of my wellbeing all on her.

“What about you though? I’m not the only one who’s hurting.” I gently brush her hair, my fingers traveling down to her plump cheeks and sleek jaw.

“I like taking care of you, making you happy. Besides, you said you were worried things won’t ever be the same. I can’t tell you they will or they won’t, what happened isn’t something either of us will ever forget. But I need you to see that we can still feel the way we used to. Maybe I need to see it too.” She trailed off, pausing in thought as she began to lightly toy with my hair. “I need to remind myself that despite everything, neither of us are broken. You probably need that too, so let me take care of you tonight, let me make you feel good. It’ll help me the same way it’ll help you.”

With her hands on me the way they were, and a head full of thoughts about how the collar would feel around my neck, I wasn’t in much of a position to argue. “Okay, fine, but I’m making tomorrow about you. You’ve spent every day helping me, you deserve to relax too.”

Lucy giggled, “I promise you, this will be relaxing for both of us. But fine, I’ll humor you tomorrow.” Our lips met in a brief, gentle kiss, and Lucy slipped away, our arms stretching to hold some contact as long as we could before our hands lightly slid apart. She grasped the collar from its stand and turned to face me, cradling it in her hands as though it were the most precious, most priceless of things. She approached, carrying herself with this delicate purposefulness, her stride long but light, her eyes fixed softly upon my still form. I couldn’t keep myself from trembling as she drew closer, with anticipation and excitement, perhaps even a little nervousness, we hadn’t really tried anything kinky since I’d returned to her. Part of me worried we wouldn’t be able to reclaim that space together.

Then she was behind me, casting her shadow over me and looming large, but protective as her hands brought the collar to my neck. It snapped into place, snug, but comfortable around my neck, and found myself breathing a long, slow sigh of relief. It felt comfortable, and safe, and right. I lightly shook my head to untangle my hair from its clasp and the little heart shaped tag -- upon which my name had been lovingly, magically etched in gorgeous calligraphy -- jangled pleasantly, reminding me of who I was allowed to be for her in that moment: hers, completely. She sat me up on my knees, then delicately wrapped her legs around my waist, drawing me in tightly as her chin came to rest on my shoulder and her arms hugged tightly across my chest. My  Then she leaned back, letting me slip lower so my head was resting against her chest while her hands rose to idly stroke my hair. There wasn’t much use in trying to move at that point, my muscles simply wouldn’t do as they were told as I went limp in her arms.

“That’s my good girl,” she whispered soothingly in my ear, briefly and lightly nibbling on its tip. “Just relax for me, let yourself be mine tonight. All of that stuff you were worried about doesn’t matter right now. Everything’s alright, you’ll see, it might take a long time to get over what happened, but you’re still you, and I’m still me, and we still love each other all the same. I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you.” Her breathing, slow and rhythmic, was easy to match, easy to sink into, and I found myself simply nodding weakly to every word she uttered. How could I not believe her? The way her fingers ran through my hair, and her thighs squeezed my midsection tightly. I hadn’t felt so secure in ages. I didn’t make any attempt to keep track of how long she held me like that, how long we basked in one another’s presence, but eventually, she leaned forward to whisper in my ear once more.

“Are you ready to get started for real?” She asked, though her husky lilt was suggestive, it was by no means a rhetorical question, I could tell she was genuinely asking.

“Yes.” My hushed, exhaul of a reply felt barely audible over the pounding of my heart, but apparently that wasn’t much of a factor from Lucy’s position.

“Good, nothing fancy tonight, no magic, no safewords, if you need me to stop just say so, only us tonight.” Her hand easily slid into the loose fitting tank top I’d used as a night-shirt, seeking the softness and warmth of my breasts. She was cold against my aching, sensitive skin, bringing a sharp gasp which seamlessly flowed into a low, breathy moan as her thumb and index finger began to lightly tweak and pinch my nipples. I couldn’t stop myself from uselessly thrusting my hips into the air, bucking at nothing at all as my Mistress held me firmly in her grasp. I afforded myself a satisfied smile. That’s what she was, Mistress. The collar was on, so I was hers. And Mistress would never let anything bad happen to me.

I felt her shifting behind me as she continued to fondle my chest, her free hand slipping off of me and reaching toward her bedside table. I felt her fidgeting and rummaging around for a moment, then she returned her attention to me. Then I saw what she’d taken from the drawer. My insides clenched with need. Had I always felt this empty? The dildo in her hands looked so long and thick, realistically I knew it was probably a pretty standard size, but having it inside me felt so delightfully intimidating, fulfilling. At its base was a little nub designed to stimulate my clit, I heard a gentle giggle behind me, and with the flick of a switch it roared to life, vibrating lightly. “Let’s see how long my little kitten can last with this inside her.” She whispered, pausing and licking along my jawline up to my earlobe for emphasis.

Her hand swayed in front of my face, teasingly brandishing the toy as she slowly brought it closer to my core, I thrust my hips desperately to go that last bit of distance, trying to spread my legs wide for her, but Mistress held me too firmly within the vice of her powerful thighs. Just as the toy hung mere inches from my needy, aching pussy, she suddenly withdrew it, as I whined needily, still fruitlessly humping at the air above me. With another low, purring giggle, the middle and index fingers of her unoccupied hand slid between my lips as I greedily suckled on them, finding them coated in her slick arousal.

She chuckled into my hear, then lowered her lips to my neck, peppering it with long wet kisses as she spoke, “That’s it, just needed to make sure they were nice and lubricated, so I can be sure you’re nice and lubricated before I put it in.” I was certain that, if we were facing one another, she’d have flashed me a cheeky grin and wink in that moment. Though that wasn’t a thought I could linger on long, because next thing I knew her fingers were out of my mouth and traveling lower, the longer nails of her ring and pinky fingers brushing my belly as they migrated downward to my burning, empty core. I drew in a sharp breath. Her fingers burrowed into me. My cries echoed down the halls of our home. It wasn’t enough though, it couldn’t be, the pleasure was dizzying, but only served to make me more eager for what was to come. They were an opening act, only building my excitement for the headliner, which dangled tantalizingly before my eyes. And as I rolled my hips into her long, nimble fingers I watched it begin its own journey downward.

It lightly brushed and circled each of my nipples, rocking them with its pleasant vibrations. And it was pleasant, but not pleasure. Not what I craved so desperately, not what she was so eager to make me wait for. It prodded along my abdomen, down to my mons, where it rested for a moment, then along my inner thighs. I squirmed in frantic lust, trying and failing with all my might to force my crotch to meet the dancing toy. After an unbearable amount of teasing, Mistress hummed in my ear, speaking in a quiet, sing-song tone of smug satisfaction, “is my girl enjoying herself?” Her fingers only grew faster, more intense as they glided deeper in and out of me, her thumb expertly working my clit.

“You’re remembering it now, hmm? How good I can make you feel? It only makes sense, I made this body for you, I know where all the buttons I need to push are to make you scream.” Her teeth sank into the space where my neck met my collar bone in a sharp, but gentle and affectionate nip. And she was right. Pleasure shook me. I screamed. If she wasn’t careful she’d have me cumming before I so much as touched the toy before me. As though sensing her thoughts, suddenly her ankles entwined themselves with mine and effortlessly parted the legs she’d kept so mercilessly locked. Not that I had put up any fight. I wanted it. To be open for her. Ready to be used, to be filled, to be possessed. “Are you ready for the main event?”

“Yes!” I screamed between heaving breaths.

“Then beg for it, my darling.” There was another long lick, from the spot she’d bitten up to my jaw as I gasped and trembled atop her.

“Please, Mistress! I need it inside me, I’ll do anything just make me cum!”

“That’s a good start, but I need you to answer one question. Tell me, kitten, who do you belong to?”

“I’m yours! I belong to you Mistress!”

“That’s my girl,” she breathed another self-satisfied chuckle, then leaned forward and twisted me about, momentarily loosening the vice her thighs had me in so I could meet her gaze. “I love you, Cass.” Simultaneously she thrust the toy into me, and pulled me into a long, deep, passionate kiss as I screamed white hot pleasure into her mouth. I was so wet and ready for her that the toy met no resistance, sliding in as though it had been there all along and fitting snugly against my squeezing inner walls, all while the nub at its base elevated the to the point where, even if I wasn’t being held firmly in place, I’d have gone completely limp. My eyelids twitched and legs shook as my first orgasm of the night rocked my body. We hadn’t even finished the kiss. I rode the wave long and high, collapsing against her strong, perfect form as her free hand stroked my hair lovingly.

“Well, that was way too easy,” she giggled between gasping breaths, “why don’t we see how many more we can get in before lunch?”

“What about breakfast?”

“Oh, I’ve got my breakfast right here, darling.”