Who Is Ellen - 89 - HD

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I play myself in 2 different Shadowrun games. The one in Seattle I'm aging backwards for some reason that only the Dragons know, and they ain't sharing. The one in DFW I was cursed with immortality by a powerful magic user who was disguised as a young Arab girl, who I turned down for marriage when I was 11. In my defense I was 11 and my knowledge of Arabic extended to "Hello" "Thank you" and "Where is the restroom?" The reason it's a curse is I age normally and take damage like a normal person, I just don't stay dead. I have a customer Loyalty Card for the ferry to the Land of the Dead, and every 10 round trips I get a spa day at the Elysian Fields resort. My current card has 6 checks on it and nobody can say how many cards I filled out already, just that it's "more than one", and I lose a bit of sanity every time I get killed. My character is several bubbles off now, having died no less than 16 times and who knows how many more. One of the things about this character is I live on the boundary between an orc gang and a troll gang and I keep the peace between them, partially because every time I get killed I come back and kill the gang bosses, and they can't figure out how I do it. They even held funerals for me and right when they start getting mushy during the eulogy I open the casket if it was closed, and sit up and ask why they are in my living room, quoting Monty Python at them "I'm not dead yet, I feel happy!" That character usually has about a half-dozen orc and troll young ladies in residence to keep me from going ham on the local gangs. Their idea, not mine. On their 18th birthdays I give them a roll in the hay and use all the skills I picked up in over 100 years of pleasing women before I send them back, and they send me a bunch more to choose from, to live with me until they turn 18. I also run a food pantry for the people near my compound and have a storm shelter that can sleep up to 50 people and feed them for a week in the second basement (of 5). One of the things about not staying dead is you can sue the pants off the people who kill you and get very rich given enough time and enough times getting killed (which I avoid because even though I don't stay dead it still hurts!)

Opus the Poet

float float float

Crissa Kentavr

@Jenora: You get a cookie! I was totally referencing that as well. "I hit the gazebo with my sword, what does it do?" "Nothing. It's a gazebo." "I hit it again! What does it do?" "It runs away."

wargrunt42

Of course, for even older-school gamers, there's always the wild gazebo... (Short version, back in the old Usenet days, somebody posted a story from a campaign where the GM told the players that they saw a gazebo in the gardens. One of the players, not knowing what a gazebo was, assumed it was some sort of magical creature and kept trying to fight it, much to the consternation of the GM and the amusement of the other players.)

Jenora Feuer

Is okay, I like your DM instincts anyways!

wargrunt42

The staircase disintergrates, causing the hidden dungeon it lead down into to become structurally unsound. Take 3d6 falling damage. The cultists hiding below take 4d8 budgeoning damage thanks to the debris. The dungeon is now difficult terrain. Roll intiative! EDIT: Oh noes! You did a pokémon reference. Sorry, I should have read the whole comment before replying.

Ethan Cobb

I kind of envision what you are saying like 'Lucy' when she is time traveling and seeing everything, but sitting in a chair

Jere

Just don't dress like the ED-209 for Halloween.

Stephen Gilberg

A wild stair case appears! Nanase: I throw a fireball at it! CRITICAL HIT! It's Super Effective! It runs away!

wargrunt42