waking up to your bratty friend sleeping on you [M4A] [SFW] [Cozy Cuddles] [Clingy but Cute] [Flirty Confession] [Soft Subby]

"You wake up to find your best friend fast asleep on top of you after a movie night. His arm is draped across your chest, his face buried in your hoodie, and he’s definitely not aware of how compromising the position is"

my spring quarter for classes just started and i already missed the first days of class oops. i just hate HATE ice breakers. since i had this professor for a previous class, i know that the first few days of her class involve a lot of ice breakers. i am NOT trying to do ice breaker bingo or do small talk with anyone. i just want to go in and do my work and go home. i'm relatively older than all of my peers so i don't even want to interact with them. since i missed the first day and the 2nd day of my classes, i will make up for it by doing a lot of my classwork that is assigned online. (maybe)

lately ive been disassociating alot, and realized i have strayed off from my usual routines. i havent hit the gym in a hot minute, done my morning stretches, some of my class work, and even cooking. my stomache is getting spoiled with takeout every day for the past month. its just so much work to cook every meal, plus i cook for my roommate. she cooks as well but shes rarely home to do so. and i know meal prepping is an option, but ughhh i cant idk why. this problem is half me being lazy and the other half being my time isnt optimized. i adored cooking at one point but that was when i had so much more free time. i cant enjoy cooking without feeling like i need to finish it asap so i can do my school work, or my work work, or audios, or side projects. AH i i think i need better time management!

has anyone looked into a crowd of people and realized that each person has lives of their own. i mean like obviously, but like they have their own personal experiences that shaped them into the person they are today. like there are people in THEIR lives that shaped them or influenced them. this reminds me of a ted-talk, or some video somewhere, that said we are a product of the traumas, anxiety, and i don’t know the energy of the people who raised us and the people around us. like we’re all just echoes of each other in some way. it’s kind of beautiful and terrifying at the same time.

i'd like to think if i was a father that i wouldn't raise my kids like my parents did to me, or at least the negative experiences i faced. like, i'd take the good parts. the parts that felt like love and leave behind the parts that felt like silence, or fear, or not being understood. i’d want to be the kind of parent that listens first, that makes home feel like a safe place to land, not something to escape.

but i also know that a part of my parents will live in me, whether i want it to or not. maybe in the way i raise my voice without thinking, or in how i handle stress, or even in the little habits i don’t notice until it’s too late. there’s a chance i’ll repeat things i swore i wouldn’t, even if it’s just in small details. and that scares me but maybe being aware of it is the first step to doing better!