GITJ Post 423: The Big Day, p1

+++++++ From the journal of Aubrey Henson ++++++

Sorry if this isn’t very good. I didn’t know anyone else would ever want to read it. I did my best.

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I asked him how his morning was going. He said it was nice.

I asked: “Just nice?”

He said: “Yeah.”

I knew better. :)

It was him, me, Bobbi and Brittni up at the front desk. Friday morning. The news team would be here in a few hours to cover the ribbon cutting for the grand opening of the new wings. Everyone was super excited. Even he was a little. I felt it. 

Like he did on a lot of mornings, he was standing there looking over some charts, his brow creased in an endearingly serious struggle of concentration. The girls had already started their days, working Vida’s and Morgan’s busy schedules, but Dr. J hadn’t been in clinic yet. Before he arrived I’d been sneaking looks at the old Dennis Wheatly thriller, a well-worn paperback I kept stashed in the bottom drawer, but with him standing so close now I forgot all about my book. I couldn’t help it. My focus was all on him. 

I asked if he needed help on the notes he was making for the patients he had to see today. There weren’t a lot of them, these days, but he still liked to look busy so when he said ‘no’ to my offer I understood and tried my best not to look disappointed for him. I could see, plain as day on his face, the hidden embarrassment over not being as sharp or productive as he used to be, the creeping feelings of uselessness and helplessness and - what’s the word? Oh yeah, I’m getting to know these really big words these days with all my reading - obsolescence. It was funny but that made me feel really excited. Not my new vocabulary (though that, too, was weirdly thrilling) but his feelings of getting smaller and less important. And it was so adorable, how he tried to hide them from me.

It’s hard to hide things from me these days. 

It was this vulnerability of his that made my heart flutter, and there really was something so adorable about his attempts to conceal it from me and the rest of the girls. I like to think that he was like a proud lion, old and wounded but still trying to project an air of strength. I remember how he used to be, before Melissa and the other girls came on. But now the whole place was run by the giant she-lions, and the contrast between his old, king-of-the-jungle demeanor and his new, well, human male frailty stirred something deep inside me. And, now that he was - oh my god - so much shorter, so much shorter and littler than me, it just-

oh my god.

I yearned to reach out and offer him comfort, to assure him that his value did not lie just in his productivity. I wanted him to know that he was still a magnificent little lion in his own way, even if his mane wasn't as full as it used to be. I know there’s a ‘pride’ metaphor to be found here, I just can’t come up with it ha.

He must have sensed my intense gaze because he looked up and met my eyes. For a brief moment, our gazes locked over the charts he was doing, and in that exchange, something happened. I like to think it was a connection born out of our long history together, our mutual understanding, respect, and something more profound - like a connection that transcended words. But I know it was just my lady boner.

I had to cross my legs under my desk. 

I wanted to think that our relationship had taken on a new dimension, that we were not just colleagues but confidantes. I wanted to become his sanctuary, where he could shed his mask of strength and allow all his vulnerabilities to show. I could teach him that even proud male lions can be vulnerable, and that it's in those moments of vulnerability that they find their place within the pride. That is where true intimacy can be found. But I was just a secretary, really, not even a she-lion. I was more like a little worker bee, and he was basically married to the Queen. He probably didn’t ever think about me at all, or even remember how I almost finished that hand-job up in his apartment. 

Still, though, I could read him just as easy as my old dog-eared book in the bottom drawer. Like I said, it's hard to hide things from me these days. Ever since Melissa came here, I’ve felt it, how I’m changing. I’m super sensitive. Marisela called me an “empath” and I guess that's true. It’s been getting stronger and stronger, this ability I have: to know (and sometimes I think, wow, affect) people’s emotions, what they’re feeling. Almost what they’re thinking, especially with him. And, yesterday, when he’d given us a Bliss more than twenty times, I think it made me even more, omigod, powerful.

It was so weird. I could basically feel his memories.

Like, I hadn’t asked him about it at all, and no one, not Lakshmi or Josie, or Melissa had told me about it but I knew, just from being near him, that they’d given him a ride from Melissa’s mom’s house this morning into work. I knew that he’d ridden in the back seat, but was asleep. He woke up halfway through the ride with his head on Lakshmi’s lap. He loved its softness but was - haha oh my god so funny - wondering where his pants were. He’d messed them because Lakshmi made him mess them with her big butt in Melissa’s kitchen omigod.

That’s why he’d needed to borrow some new scrub pants, from one of the medical assistants. The new girl Bessie had had an old pair and ran them out to him when they arrived, but even those were now really long on him. Everyone was wearing pink today, even me, and even him haha. Melissa wanted us to look like a team on camera, on the news later. One of the girls said something about him being our ‘mascot’ but I thought that was a little mean.

Anyway, after our eyes had met over his charts he went back to scribbling in them. Most all other offices used electronic medical records now, but here we still do some stuff on paper. He would glance up, once in a while, at me or at Bobbi or Brittni or some other girl that would show up behind the desk for a moment. I reached out to him with my new abilities and looked into what he was feeling. He was seeing these girls in a different light than before. He was wondering, worrying: he’d seen some things that not only Melissa but now Randi, Josie and Lakshmi could do. He was disquieted: do we all have superpowers? Are we all becoming superpeople? This new medical center that we had the grand opening for today, he fretted: is it just a factory for superwomen, a breeding ground for some New World order? And, he felt anxiety over the question: was he going to be a part of it? Where will he fit in all this? It was making him feel small, anxiously insignificant, and - omigod - so submissive. And, even crazier, it was exciting to him. It was exciting to me. 

“Dr. J, are you alright?” I asked him.

When he looked at me again, when his eyes met mine, and I saw the tremulous little boy behind them, I nearly melted. He had so many worries, so much anxiety - and so many questions. 

“Aubrey,” he asked, quietly, but with a plainness to his voice that made my heart stop, “What kind of powers do you have?”

That got the attention of the other girls behind the desk. Both Bobbi and Brittni and now Nadia who was finally back from her break looked up. 

I looked at them. “Hey, guys, can you all step away for a second, go check if we got any deliveries?” I asked them, without even a thought. I had been promoted to Front Desk Supervisor after - omigod what was her name? It’s only been a couple months and I’ve forgotten? - uh…Sharon yeah? Yeah, after Sharon left, Melissa put me in charge at the reception desk so I could ask things of these girls and they were supposed to listen. Bobbi and Brittni agreed easily, and stepped back into the staff offices after just a shrug. Nadia - the new girl that came to us from Evolution - raised her brow at me, but then after a moment, followed. The only patient in the waiting room was old Mrs. Arroyo, and she couldn’t hear for sh-….she was kinda deaf. 

I turned back to him, and saw him watching them go. His eyes were definitely on Nadia’s butt; she’d worn a tight pencil skirt and an even tighter pink tube top to work today. Funny, I thought, how loose our dress code has gotten, even as I realized that - while his eyes were away from me - I’d unconsciously undone the top button of my shirt...

When he turned back to me, his eyes first went down my blouse. I knew he had a hard time concentrating, that he got really flustered when he was around pretty girls, and I had to keep myself from smiling when I was reminded that I was one of them now. My boobs had gotten so big, and I had gotten so tall. He liked tall girls. He liked girls with big boobs. I couldn’t help but wonder, wistfully, how much he liked me.

My feelings began looking into his…

But then, yes, I had to remind myself, quickly, that he had asked me a question.

“Dr J…” I began, not really knowing where to start, or how much I should say. Part of me, of course, wanted to tell him everything. Part of me was so proud, so emboldened and galvanized by what was happening that I felt like being honest. What could he do? He couldn't’t stop us, or them, not now. It was too late. I don’t know if anyone could. Though, I also felt that, with him, I should tread lightly. If I said too much I might make Melissa upset; she may have her own plans on how to tell him things, how much she wanted him to know. Melissa’s great, and I don’t want to make her mad at me. I did feel, though, that I could tell him a little, at least about what I myself could do. 

“I can feel things, really strongly,” I began, “and I’m getting really sensitive to other people’s emotions.” 

His eyes, on mine, showed me that he understood, that he was comprehending what I was starting to tell him. He nodded, and I could feel how his mind was opening up to the impossibility that his little receptionist, Aubrey Henson, was becoming a superhero. He was thinking less, and accepting more. His thoughts went back to comic books, the stories he used to read as a young boy. 

“So, you’re an empath?” he asked. 

I smiled, gently, and knew that he was starting to acknowledge his new reality, where girls were getting superpowers. I sympathized with him, and wanted to make sure he knew it. I reached out a hand, and took his into it. 

“Yes,” I said, feeling a strong tingle, like an electric current as our connection took a step up to another level now that our bodies were touching. Ooo it was thrilling, and I shivered when my mind suddenly started considering what it could be like if it was more, more skin than just that of our hands touching. What could I do with him, what new powers would I find if my bare breasts met his chest and my arms were around-

Haha stop, Aubrey. 

I knew he understood but I felt like I owed him more of an explanation. “I know what some of the other girls are starting to be able to do, everyone something different,” I continued. It wasn’t everyone here, as far as I knew. It was really - I thought - just the ones that had the strongest connection to Melissa. I don’t know if he knew that, or if he really understood how much Melissa’s collection of abilities seemed to grow by the day, but I told him something he could know. “I’m getting the ability to fully comprehend the moods and emotions of others, and know more about them.” 

I didn’t want to tell him too much, like: ‘I think I could make you cry right now if I wanted.’ 

“Th-that’s…that’s a cool power,” he admitted, trying so hard to keep his voice steady as his emotions whirled and wheeled inside him, almost making him sick the poor thing. 

“It is,” I conceded. While I knew being an empath could certainly be a tough life to lead, feeling everyone's emotional highs and lows, all their happiness and pain, I knew I could make a powerful ally for him. “It's one of the coolest powers to have because now I will always understand you,” I said, squeezing his hand in comfort, “Nothing you say can be lost on me or taken for granted. Melissa can do this too. We’ll know your feelings better than you do.”

He was so confused, so lost, the poor man. Knowing that women around him were becoming superhuman while he was, on the other hand, becoming smaller and weaker and less significant every day? That must be a trial. Thinking that he would be unable to keep even his own emotions private was making him feel vulnerable, but I could feel how what I was telling him was actually bringing him some comfort. “We’re all here to help you, protect you, take care of you,” I reassured him, because I felt that was what he needed to hear, “and the more I know about you, the better I can do that.”

He was trying to look strong with his smile. How charming. 

“Like, I know how you’re hiding an erection, right now, Dr. J,” I said evenly, shocking even myself with my bluntness…and certainly jolting him, too. He tried to pull his hand away, but my grip was firm. 

“Au-Aubrey…” he stammered, warning me with his tone: this is not appropriate. 

I didn’t care. And Mrs. Arroyo, the only other person in the room, had fallen asleep. 

“Shhh,” I hushed him, reaching my feelings into his more deeply, feeling his fear and anxiety but also that yes yes part of you wants me, “I know you’re excited by me just describing this. I know that powerful women turn you on.”

“Aubrey, I-” 

“That’s why you like Melissa. She can do what I can do with you, what I’m doing with you right now, but even better,” I said, hearing how my voice had gotten low and husky. It was weird but thinking of Melissa always excited me. “And she can do so much more.”

My heart was beginning to race now, as was his. I sensed his embarrassment, and my feelings took a step closer into his. My eyes flitted over his face, and seeing him trembling made me need to bite back a grin. "Does it feel... I dunno, good? Having a girlfriend that’s becoming invincible?" I asked, the curiosity in my voice genuine though I felt the answer already. Yes, he loves it. 

Before he could utter a word, though, I surprised him once again. I leaned forward and reached my other hand out to gently grasp his arm. With an electric shock our connection redoubled, and we each almost gasped. 

My proximity, how close I was inside him now was intoxicating to both of us, clouding his thoughts and sending a shiver down my spine. I felt how his mind raced with possibilities, wondering if he should confess everything to me. Would I understand? Would I laugh at him? What would happen if he opened up to me completely?

“Oh, Dr. J, it’s okay, I would never laugh at you,” I purred, my voice low and indulgent as my hand ran down his arm, “You can talk to me…” It sent a wave of electricity through him and my voice shocked even me with how sultry it sounded. "It's okay, Dr. J. I'm your friend, and I'm always on your side. So you can tell me - you like this, don't you? You like watching Melissa and all her girlfriends grow.”

“Oh, Christ, Aubrey,” he groaned, his eyes starting to water as the tendrils of my amygdala reached into his frontal cortex (how do I know that?).

“Tsk tsk. You know Melissa’s rules,” I scolded, “Language.”

“s-sorry…” he apologized.

I smiled, and tried to keep my eyes from flashing too brightly. This was so exciting to me, and I could sense that my reprimand excited him too. Omigod he liked being submissive, he liked beng submissive to women, having them make him feel small. He secretly liked seeing Melissa as an authority figure, and treating him like a child was almost foreplay to him.  

My own excitement emboldened me. “So, Dr J,” I asked him, now with both of his hands in mine, across the shallow countertop of the front desk, “Did you make yourself shrink because it's some fantasy of yours?"

I felt him shiver inside. His head was swimming with the confusing possibilities, belief and disbelief swirling and swirling and swirling. “Wh-what??” he stammered. 

My voice stepped softly closer into him.

“You’re not sure how to respond, are you?” I asked, using some new lilt to my voice that I was only now just discovering, “It’s only a question.” I could feel how he had never really spoken about his secret desires, not even to Melissa. He was afraid of being judged, ridiculed, or worse. The poor thing. Had he even considered it?

Here he was, though, standing in front of me, his young front desk girl, being asked about his deepest fantasies. And for the first time, he felt like he could be honest about it. He gulped before nodding his head in response.

"No…I don't know why I'm shrinking,” he answered, though now his mind was full of doubt. Was it something, some dark urge inside him that was making this all happen?

I wanted him to say more, and my powers massaged his feelings. I wanted him to trust me, to feel safe, and making him feel that way made me feel good. My hands took his.

“But it is... sorta... kinda... a fantasy of mine," he blurted out. "I've always had a…a…an attraction to taller, dominant women. I like feeling smaller, protected, and... cherished. I know that it’s…it’s…weird.”

“You can tell me,” I purred, “I don’t think it’s weird.”

His eyes opened, his feelings opened, and he was just about to speak when Shanette walked in. 

I stood up, dropped his hands.

“Wow girl, button up,” Shanette cracked. Mrs. Arroyo was looking at her expectantly, and stood. “You look ready to pop.”

I looked down at my chest. With his excitement, his anxiety, my breasts had started to swell. I forgot they did that for him. They looked ready to burst a new button on my blouse. I flushed in embarrassment.

Shanette’s attention had left me. “Hiiii Mrs. Arroyo,” she sang, loudly for the old woman, “time for your appointment with Vida?”

“Si,” the elderly patient answered, and started to totter her way across the waiting room, towards Shanette, who would lead her to her exam.

As she waited for her patient, Shanette looked at me. Bobbi and Brittni were just returning to the desk, behind me. “So, hey, Melissa wants to see him in her office,” she said, “Can you make sure he gets there?”

“We’ll bring him,” Bobbi and Brittni both said, in strange unison.

My hands suddenly cold, I watched wistfully as he was taken away….

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lights are back on here at theBasic; thanks for your patience.

thank you also to RiF for edits in my absence.