SSD 5.06 - Going with the Classics

It's Friday again, and so time for another chapter. Enjoy!

Pets are a universal in all human societies. Even those that barely survive will have children selecting tiny animals to care for.

-A’vim Unati, historian

==Caden==

After failing to completely think things through before extending my aura, and more than a little excitement by both me and the people here, if for entirely different reasons, I needed to exercise some restraint and a guiding hand.

In my defense, I had only seen people truly react to my aura once before this. Sure, Tam had sensed where it was, but he seemed to be able of substantially more than normal, so I didn’t count him. Less helpful in my defense, was that that singular experience was pretty fucking dramatic and painful and I should have fucking remembered.

Regardless, it was now my mess to clean up. Well, no, I could grab Zidaun and make him do it, but he was already walking through the grotto, trying, and failing, to hide his joy.

Feel like an absolute bastard if I interrupted him now… Still should let him know.

I sent a very brief message to Zidaun, simply informing him that I was extending my aura outside the dungeon entrances slightly, and that I would be informing the people so they didn’t overreact. In all, I made it sound like I have put far more thought into it than I had.

My body, something between a haunted statue and possessed golem, was now fully occupied by my presence, and some of the panicking people had turned to look at me.

I’m not entirely sure what made me do it, perhaps all the references to godhood had been lingering in my mind, but as a supposedly divine being, appearing to people that were terrified by signs of my presence, I went with a classic.

“Be not afraid,” I said, stretching out my hand in a calming gesture.

I’m not a monstrosity of wheels and too many eyes, so that will probably help.

Watching the people gather around, their fear giving way to a vague uncertainty, was surprisingly enjoyable. Not just for the dramatic aspect of playing a role, but to see that fear damp down. The story of what I had done, how I and Exsan had appeared, had already spread far. Messages had been sent home via teleport, but it had also spread in the most consistent many humanity had ever devised, gossip. To be clear, that was consistent in its presence, not its veracity.

Nevertheless this close to the actual event, and so many sources of information, I doubted thing were more than half lies. No idea what tales would grow out of it with time. I’d already heard tales of fountains of alcohol pouring forth finer vintages that had ever been tasted by man.

Honestly, providing all the adventurers as much alcohol as they could drink will probably end a larger part of the legend than the stay of execution.

Still, there were worse things than having a reputation for generosity.

As long as they don’t forget the dangers.

Hopefully anyone stupid enough to discount the dangers would figure it out after their first death.

There will always be idiots that refuse to learn… Yeah, well so what, they would have gotten themselves killed in some other way.

Before I got too lost in thought, one of the group, a man, stepped forward.

“Uh, You, You’re, um,” he said haltingly, trying to talk and failing miserably.

Seeing his abysmal performance, a woman in a short dress and practical boots stepped forward, placing her hand on his shoulder.

“By the gods, Kolgik, stop,” she hissed into his ear. She turned to me. “Begging your pardon, you are the dungeon, right? Or…” there was a brief hesitation, but she moved past it quickly, “one of the two…?”

She left the question hanging awkwardly, but I couldn’t really blame her, there wasn’t exactly a simple and easy way to refer to one of two people comprising a single entity, at least not without mentions to things like Siamese twins, and that truly failed to capture was we actually were.

I nodded, smiling, “I am,” I said, “I’m Caden,” even as I was frantically trying to come up with a good name people could use for us.

Crystals divide, bud, yep just best buds here, suppose I could use twins… sure as hell not using soul hybrids.

“And what is your name?” I asked.

“Oh,” she said, looking briefly embarrassed, “I’m Brosta, my lo… I’m not actually sure what to call you, sir.”

For a moment, I wanted to say that no sign of respect was necessary, but I held my tongue. I was, without doubt, the ruler of the land I controlled, and even more, I was the dungeon, and people needed to understand and respect my power. Not for my sake, but for theirs; they needed to remember to treat it, and the power of it, and therefore my power, seriously.

Stupid morality making me do uncomfortable things for other people’s benefit. So much easier not to care about the consequences. Lord, it will have to be lord, no fucking way I’m dealing with any highness or majesty crap, its bad enough I already have to deal with the Adar’s adoration.

At least I’m not the only one, ha. Firi is likely to have an Adar adoring him quite soon.

Yeah, and I’m giving it decent odds I’ll have to be deliberately ignoring sections of their residence. Stupid omniscience is making me an unwilling voyeur.

The adventurers here had limited sources of entertainment and strong powerful bodies. It was a combination that lent itself to extensive sexual encounters. More than a few of them did so in entirely too public areas, meaning I wasn’t the only voyeur, though only some of the others were unwilling.

At least I’m asexual, I think it would be creepier if I actually enjoyed it. Not like it makes a difference to me, I see it whether they are inside or out.

I was tempted to penalize them through the puzzle system, but I didn’t actually know what the social mores of these cultures were, and I didn’t want to just impose my own sense of morality for that. In many places in the past, and in poorer places in the present, social mores had normalized semi-public sex because there was simply nowhere else to do it. And the nobles had even had traditions of consummation being witnessed.

I get that tracking lineage was a big deal, but verifying a marriage only with sex is just strange. People can get married just for companionship. Eh… guess I have an axe to grind, since sex isn’t my primary motivator.

I had always imagined that I might get married some day. Whether to a man or women it hadn’t mattered, just a union of purpose and companionship.

Well I got a permanent union with a voice in my head and a worshipful slave, guess I’m officially poly…

Not exactly what I imagined, even if it sort of fulfills the letter of my desire. Universe is a bitch with a cruel sense of humor.

Though being substantially faster than speech, the rush of words, memories, and concepts only delayed my response for a brief moment.

“Yes, I understand,” I said. “You can call me Lord Caden. And there is no need for any of you to worry. I just extended my aura out a bit. I’ll be continuing to do so occasionally, but it won’t change anything, no monsters will spawn here to attack you or anything.”

Ugh, even saying I’m a lord makes my stony flesh crawl.

“As you say, my lord.”

Nope, just no.

“No,” I said, as gently as I could, though I still saw her flinch, “Lord Caden, always Lord Caden, not just lord.”

“Y-yes, as you say, Lord Caden,” she said.

“Now, Brosta, how much would someone usually pay a guide to show them around a city?” I asked.

Whatever he lacked in courage, Kolgik apparently possessed in avarice, for I could practically see the dollar signs light up his eyes.

“Lord Caden,” he said, with an obsequious bow, “we would be pleased to show you around for nothing but a mere-”

“A silver, or less, Lord Caden” Brosta said, sparing Kolgik a brief reflexive glare, even as he choked mid-word, though I could still hear the distinctive sound of “gold” starting to come out. “It really depends on the type of tour. Sure, some nobles or adventurers will take tours that are much more expensive, but those are usually things that include lodging, expensive food, and such.”

I smiled brightly at her.

“No need to repeat my name and title endlessly. I would be pleased to have you and your,” I looked over at Kolgik for moment, pausing.

“Brother,” she said.

“Yes, you and brother accompany me. And Kolgik” I stared piercingly at him, my voice cold, “be thankful for your sister, an attempt to cheat me would not have ended well.”

Not that I’d have done anything too drastic, since I do actually like his sister. Still, even barring him from entering my aura would have made whatever business he had here more difficult… though that still would have impacted his sister.

Eh, I could have made the clothes evaporate off his flesh. It would even count as me being benevolent, since it would be in place of a harsher punishment.

Plus, it’s better to have a reputation of not putting up with shit.

“Brosta, if you would,” I said smiling again.

“Uh, yes, of course, Lord Caden” she said, her voice holding a trace of fear.

I damped the sound down around us so no one else could hear. Even so, I kept things a whisper.

“Don’t worry too much, I like you, so I wouldn’t have done anything too terrible. I would have just destroyed his clothes. Naked flesh for naked greed.”

She stifled a giggle at my response, finally answering.

“Naked greed? I’ve never heard it described that way, I like it.”

Ah yes, the true power of traveling between worlds, getting credited with all the new ideas you introduce.

Truthfully, if I had simply been brought to a fantasy world, human or dungeon, without all the overarching drama of a bipolar system, idea actually would have been among the greatest things I could have offered.

Nope, I get stuck with the heroic quest to save the world. Wished for this a hundred times in my life, only to get it when I die, and it isn’t at all like I imagined.

Well, no, I did have ridiculously overpowered magic, some system cheats because of my nature, and eternal companions who will always be loyal to me, a large group of people who adore and revere me…

I swear, it is like someone took all my wishes together and decided to fulfill it like an evil genie. What, did I trip and fall to my death on a genie trapped in a pencil or something?

The answer was simpler, of course. Even if my wishes had been granted more in line with what I had imagined… it wouldn’t have been fantasy. The real world had people, and people mattered, so I couldn’t just be careless and enjoy my power.

How dare I curse myself with responsibility proportionate to my power. Guess I can thank my parents for that.

For the moment though, I could simply enjoy a brief tour.

Some small dwellings and storage sheds had sprung up, some of which had guards idling outside, each trying to look like they weren’t staring at me. It was a natural enough reaction.

I’d stare too.

There wasn’t really much to show me, but she did her best, her brother trailing behind us, his face slightly pale. She, at least, seemed to have become much more comfortable with me.

“So, you have to keep your brother out of a lot of trouble?”

She heaved a deep sigh, no doubt expressing many years of exasperation.

“Gods yes. He is usually more respectful to those in power, but I’ve had to keep him from selling things at too high a price many times. It doesn’t matter how much you can make in the moment… If you take advantage, people will never forget. You can have customers for years, or you can let a single bit of avarice make you a small fortune, missing out on the chance for an even larger one. Sure, sometimes we can get a hold of things that people need, that we could always sell at a higher price, but if you do that… people remember. They go to other merchants for everything else. And, if someone else manages to start selling that necessity, everyone that bought from you will drop you in a heartbeat.

“Only one way to maintain a business, for the long term. You have to offer true value, take care of your customers, and remember that anyone you hire isn’t just a cost, they are making you money. Being honest, it’s the only way to make it last.”

She shook her head.

“Father wanted to leave the business entirely to him, tried to get him to understand how to make it work, be sustainable, so it could be passed down to another generation after us, but… Kolgik just didn’t see it. Always so focused on the present.

“It got split between us, but I have a slightly larger piece, so I can have the final say. Father hoped I would just settle down, find a nice man or woman and raise a family. Still, in the end he was glad he taught me, too. He thought it was important, that I knew how a business should run, even if I just ended up marrying into an existing one.”

She flashed me a smile.

“Still might marry into one, I’ll just be bringing a bit of my own if I do.”

I nodded.

Every child should know these things, be properly educated in both the theoretical and practical... I might be able to make that happen some day.

For the moment, we were getting to what I was truly excited about.

I’m sure she mentioned the name of the other animals as well, but I had only eyes and ears for the one type. The adorable group of Slogi.