"AUBOE" Chapter 122. Broken yet whole (Start of book 3)

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AN: NOW OUT FOR AWAKENED

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He remembered the floodgates opening. Rage and anger. Sadness and guilt. Hopelessness. All different emotions, and yet, at that time, they spread through his soul, body, and mind like a synchronized inferno. Their combined strength filled him with infinite power, but one he couldn't even touch.

He remembered the monsters coming, their howls ringing in his ears. Where one fell, two more always arrived to take its place, their limitless fury clashing against his own. Somehow, they still lost, their slaughtered bodies dropping to the ground in tens.

He remembered fighting without thinking, uncaring of his own pain as long as the enemy perished. He shrugged off all injuries, laughing like a maniac as he devoured one corpse after another. Pain didn't matter if he couldn't be bothered to feel it.

He remembered the inferno of emotions slowly departing just as the sun began to peek through the stormy clouds. Despite the fullness in his soul, the empty hole inside him grew with each second, taking away his power and will to live. Even his enemies fled, leaving him alone under the sundered sky.

And that was how Leo awoke from the haze of the final stage of Ruthless Efficiency. He sat kneeling in the middle of a sea of bodies and dust. Blood coated every possible surface, even his body, while each breath filled his nostrils with the same metallic stench.

His entire being ached all over, begging for the sweet release, for anything to end its struggle. Leo would have loved to give it just that, but somehow, he had survived the impossible. He fought an army and lived, even if it left him an empty husk without the will to continue.

Why... His blurry gaze slowly swept across the battlefield before it settled on his bloody hands. Why am I alive? How...

By all means, he should have died. He had spent the last of his power to drag Adam into his soul, leaving him with just enough strength to stay awake for a few more seconds. Even Nyx understood this was the end of their short journey, and though close to activating, Ruthless Efficiency shouldn't have been able to save him from the horde of Nightmares.

And yet, it did.

The ability transformed Leo into a weapon of rage and bloodlust, fuelled by unending hunger. It consumed him, taking the reigns of his body while making him an unwilling passenger who still had to fight a different battle in his head.

A battle against all the feelings he had pushed away.

A battle he had lost.

There was just too much to face. His emotions, failures, and dead family. It all overwhelmed him, never giving him a chance to breathe as he drowned in a pit of despair. And yet, even when Leo accepted his fate, his rage and bloodlust never gave up, fighting till the bitter end.

So the failure lives on, eh? He chuckled bitterly, hanging down his head. Guess lady luck isn't done with me yet. I probably should be happ-

Leo gasped, air leaving his lungs as a mass of shadows struck his chest, knocking him down to the ground. He coughed, blurry vision clearing as he looked up, bright violet eyes meeting his own.

"Nyx," he muttered, reaching for the feline's snout. "Seems even death didn't want me..."

'Leo!' Nyx shouted, giving him a long lick that almost ripped off half his face. 'I... I thought you were dead... The link went silent, and then the Nightmares went inside...'

"I know," he looked away, sitting up. "Somehow, I even failed at dying. That's got to be a record or something."

The feline snarled, slapping him with her tail. Leo crumpled, the blood and pieces of monsters squelching beneath him.

'Stop this fucking self-pity party already!' She hissed, picking him up and throwing him across the battlefield. 'You're not a failure! You did everything you could, more than anyone could ask of you. Some odds are just impossible to beat. Grieve if you must, but don't you dare to give up again. Or have you already forgotten about the child that now sleeps inside your soul?'

Holding his side, Leo grimaced as he climbed to his feet. Nyx was right, at least to some extent. He couldn't let this second, or maybe third, chance at life slip through his fingers, not after everything he had gone through. However, he always had trouble leaving the past behind and doubted it would be any different this time.

Grieve if you must. He repeated, looking to where ReachHope's headquarters once stood. Yeah... I think I will do just that.

Even as dozens of notifications tried to force themselves into his vision, he ignored them, letting his feet carry him forward. Nyx joined him within a moment, her gaze burning a hole in his head.

'Leo? What's going on?' She asked, her voice softening once more. 'Did I hit you too hard? I apologize, but I can't let you continue like that.'

He shook his head. "No... You were right. Every single word you said was true..." He shrugged. "All my life, whenever something bad happened, I have always blamed myself or complained about the unfairness of it all. That's just how I'm, a pile of negativity shaped into a human form... well, not even human anymore."

Still continuing onward, Leo sighed. "Even if I don't want to accept it, this definitely won't be the last time I lose someone close to me. This world is too fucked up for everyone to get a happy ending." He looked at Nyx, giving her a small, broken smile. "So yeah, I know; I need to change. Put the past behind me and leave it there... Otherwise, I will always be my own worst enemy."

The feline averted her gaze. 'Does it mean you’re okay now?'

"Far from it." Leo stopped, the ruins of ReachHope's headquarters lying before him. "But I will get there. Like someone once said, time heals all wounds. I just have to do what I said. Let the past go."

'I will help you as much as I can,' Nyx whispered, still refusing to look at him. 'When our bond went silent, I really thought you... that you died. I don't want to feel that void ever again. I hate it.'

Leo took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment. "I can't promise you something similar won't happen again. Life is too unpredictable; we just witnessed proof of that." Seeing the feline slump, he continued, "I can make you a different promise though. I will never give up again like I did today. Hope that's enough for now."

'It has to.'

"Yeah... I guess so," he muttered, patting Nyx's side. "Come, there is one last thing I must do before I can leave this place in the past."

With that said, Leo jumped onto the rubble, slowly maneuvering between what remained of the building that once gave him hope. Now, only pieces of broken walls remained, with bloody body parts scattered everywhere. Vetilim also put down roots all around, already claiming this place for the Void.

How did it all happen so fast? How did the building even collapse? He didn't know, but he had some ideas. Nyx could probably confirm them if he asked.

Not now. Leo shook his head, still trying to find the right spot. Later.

'What are you looking for?' Nyx asked, her voice as soft as velvet.

"Ava."

The feline didn't try to say more after that. She just nodded and followed behind, giving Leo the space he needed so much. He would have to thank her later for that.

"Here," he paused near a half-collapsed wall. "It must be here."

That was all Nyx needed to know before she moved to help him, picking up pieces of debris, one after another. They struggled, their strength still far beyond doing stuff like this without breaking a sweat. Leo's half-dead state also didn't give him much to work with.

Nonetheless, they continued until a body revealed itself, crushed almost beyond recognition.

Leo took a deep breath, attempting to ignore the guilt gnawing on his soul. The past was in the past. Nothing could change that, no matter how much he wanted to.

It wasn't my fault. I tried my best. Leo repeated those words like a mantra as he picked up Ava's corpse. It wasn't my fault. I tried my best.

In silence, they left the ruins behind, heading straight for the forest. It didn't take long until they reached a familiar clearing, and Leo laid the body down.

"Help me out, okay? I don't think I have enough strength left for this," he motioned to the patch  of grass before him.

Nyx didn't complain or question his actions. She just nodded and moved forward, her tails soon joining him in their new task.

Within minutes, their work was finished, leaving a deep, human-sized hole in the place he had marked before. Together, they lowered Ava's body inside the pit and slowly covered the grave with the same dirt they dug out.

Leo didn't move afterward. Couldn't move. His form remained frozen, staring blankly ahead. Nyx, though, didn't have such a problem. She nudged him and pointed towards the setting sun.

'We need to move soon,' she whispered gently. 'You can't risk facing Nightmares again. Not today.'

"I know." Leo agreed, giving her the same broken smile. "Just please give me a moment. Okay?"

Nyx nodded and left him alone with the grave. It was time to say goodbyes.

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