PASSION Chapter 4 Part 3

Chapter 4 Part 3

Plop, the cigarette fell from his mouth. Tae-ui stared blankly at Shin Lu, not even noticing the cigarette falling between his feet. He clearly saw him stumbling over his words while staring at his feet, unable to meet his eyes.

"It was winter about two years after graduating high school, ah, since I skipped grades I wasn't an adult yet then, but I went with a friend to one of those places, you know, where only men gather. And then, it was my first time, but..."

By the time he closed his mouth without finishing his sentence, Shin Lu's face was completely flushed.

Tae-ui just stared blankly at Shin Lu, unable to even blink. He looked almost dazed. His mind went white, unable to form any thoughts.

After a long silence passed, Shin Lu gradually raised his gaze hesitantly, then shouted with a surprised face "Brother! The cigarette! The cigarette!" pointing with his finger, and only then did Tae-ui look down to see the fallen cigarette had caught the dry grass and was quietly sending up smoke, making him frantically stamp on the grass.

After extinguishing the ember and picking up the butt to put in his pocket, Tae-ui's hands were anxious. He took out the one remaining cigarette and put it in his mouth to light it, but the lighter wouldn't work properly. His fingers kept slipping.

Wait, what did I just hear? It seems I heard something strange, but like a blank spot in my memory, I can't recall the thought. So just now Shin Lu called out "Brother Tae-ui." And after hesitating repeatedly, what he said was... Ah, why won't this damn fire light.

Seeing Tae-ui unable to light the lighter despite trying several times, Shin Lu, still red-faced and hanging his head like someone who had committed a crime, hesitantly approached. Then he gently took the lighter from Tae-ui's hand and lit it for him instead. Tae-ui lit his cigarette saying "Ah, thanks" and silently took back the lighter Shin Lu returned, putting it back in his pocket.

"..."

"..."

A subtle silence flowed. Shin Lu stood in front of Tae-ui, within arm's reach.

Staring blankly at Shin Lu while exhaling smoke, when he coughed softly a couple times, Tae-ui finally flinched in surprise and said "Sorry" before quickly turning his head to blow out a large puff of smoke. Then he ended up putting out the barely smoked cigarette entirely. Though Tou would have jumped up and down with bulging eyes if he had seen, such things didn't matter at all.

"..., Um, .... Did you like it?"

The moment he spoke after pondering for a while, Tae-ui wanted to chop off his own head.

Just what had he asked? "Did you like it" - what on earth was he asking about in this context?

Indeed, Shin Lu stared at Tae-ui with wide eyes as if shocked. Tae-ui waved his hands while stammering "No, that." Cold sweat broke out.

"No, sorry. I didn't mean it that way. I just... well, meant to ask if it wasn't unpleasant."

Shin Lu quietly looked at Tae-ui's face as he frantically made excuses with a flustered expression. Then he slowly shook his head.

"It wasn't unpleasant. ...Just after that I was too busy to go to such places again... and since then, I haven't been attracted to women..."

Shin Lu's nape flushed softly as he spoke with his head lowered shyly. Seeing him like that made Tae-ui's already flushed face heat up even more.

How ridiculous they must look if someone saw them from the side. Two grown men standing face to face with red faces, staring at their feet. But even if someone laughed uproariously at them from the side, Tae-ui didn't think he would mind. The thought that maybe, just maybe, made his heart flutter with excitement warming his chest.

Tae-ui pointlessly pushed and pulled a long blade of grass at his feet with his toe. Then Shin Lu, who had been quiet for a while, whispered softly.

"Brother Tae-ui. The other day when we were drinking tea..."

Flinch, his toe stepped on the cigarette. His foot hesitantly dragged the cigarette while sliding.

"When you touched me like that, and there was soap smell, and you were so close, so..."

"Mmm, I see..."

Shin Lu muttered while nodding. That was all. Shin Lu still had his head lowered with a face red to his ears, and Tae-ui was no different.

Then at some point Shin Lu very slowly raised his head. His black eyes glanced up at Tae-ui. His heart throbbed at those moist sparkling eyes.

Just as Tae-ui was about to look away, Shin Lu smiled slightly. He smiled shyly with just his lips turning up slightly bashfully. Tae-ui couldn't take his eyes off those smiling lips.

".... Brother. Let's go back together. I'll wait here... no, I want to see the ocean once more too."

Saying that, Shin Lu brushed past Tae-ui and started walking back toward the beach. Tae-ui stood frozen staring blankly at Shin Lu's retreating figure, until Shin Lu looked back tilting his head when he was some distance away, and only then did he hurriedly chase after him.

His heart was pounding wildly. His heart leaped as if he had grasped an unbelievable stroke of luck.

Unable to believe it, he closed his eyes and opened them again, but Shin Lu was still there smiling.

Ah, indeed misfortune wasn't the only thing that came.

He felt like he could endure even if hundreds of men like Rick came from the European branch tonight.

***

They arrived after dinner time, exactly when the clock struck 8.

Tae-ui tried to recall if there had ever been a time in his life when he had felt such an ominous atmosphere on his skin. Never. Not even the day after he had fought Lieutenant Kim to the death and it had nearly spread into a fight between platoons when they had gone on a march in full gear side by side.

When they came down to basement level 6 after finishing a brief orientation in the main lecture hall on basement level 2. The corridor atmosphere was truly murderous. Over a dozen men, especially those holding grudges against the European branch, had lined up in the corridor and stood glaring silently at them with fierce expressions, and those who came rumbling down the stairs also glared back with bleak faces.

Though Tae-ui had not the slightest desire to get involved in that confrontation and had thought he should stay quietly in his room when they arrived having predicted such a situation, unfortunately he ended up running into them right as he came out of the bathroom after bathing.

Seeing a group of unfamiliar men coming out toward the stairs, Tae-ui thought 'Ah, they're finally here' and seeing his colleagues standing firm in front of them, he quickly pushed through between them heading for his room. He started habitually going toward his own room before turning around, changing direction to Tou's room where he would be staying for a while.

Only Moller who shared the room with Tou was inside. Though from a different team, they had seen each other and talked several times so there wasn't much awkwardness.

"They're here?"

Moller muttered while chewing on a pencil absorbed in a puzzle magazine. Tae-ui answered "Yeah, they're here" while sitting on the bed and running his hands through his not fully dried hair.

At least this man Moller showed little sign of grudges against the European branch. Though Tou had said it was because he hadn't had the chance to experience the European branch's violence having only been here a few months, Tae-ui who hadn't even been here a week found it easier to empathize with Moller who showed only normal competitive spirit rather than Tou who passionately hated the European branch.

"Where's Tou?"

"Bathroom. Took a comic magazine so won't be back soon."

Tae-ui nodded while listening to Moller's answer as he muttered without taking his eyes off the puzzle.

The guy who had been so worked up saying they're coming, they're coming was in the bathroom right when they arrived. But he might come running out immediately even from the bathroom if he sensed their presence.

Even just being in the room, they could fully feel the ominous atmosphere outside. Though no actual fights broke out, occasional shouts and curses meant to be heard as jeers came through.

"Well really, it wouldn't be strange at all if a brawl broke out at this rate. The atmosphere is killer."

"A brawl... I don't like that."

"Mm. I'd like to pass too. ...Though if Tou heard us say this he'd jump up and down grabbing us to give a long speech."

Tae-ui glanced at Moller meeting his eyes and grinned. Moller smiled too.

"That Tou, he's a good guy but his head's a bit hot."

Instead of answering, Moller shrugged showing agreement before turning back to his puzzle.

Tae-ui started unpacking his belongings. Though calling them belongings, there wasn't much. Since he hadn't had much luggage when first entering this branch, there was no reason to need many things just to temporarily move rooms after a few days. It was little enough that he could carry it all in his hands without needing a bag.

"Is it okay if I use the empty toothbrush holder?"

"Yeah, go ahead. Just make it distinguishable. Before when Tou bought a new toothbrush that was the same color as Tick's toothbrush, they fought every day about which was whose for a while."

While listening to Moller's diligent answers even while absorbed in his puzzle, Tae-ui quickly checked his toothbrush color before placing it in the bathroom. And when putting his underwear in the drawer, he again heard a similar past story and double-checked his underwear. He regretted bringing plain white underwear that could easily get mixed up.

When he tried to close the drawer it wouldn't close properly as if something was caught inside. After opening and closing it several times, Tae-ui frowned and pulled the drawer all the way out.

"What's caught making it not come out... Oh."

Tae-ui pulled out a piece of metal that was sticking out its end between the underwear.

It was a Beretta.